Swirling, Twirling, Cascading Thoughts February 20, 2008

It is already 1:56 in the morning and I still need to convince myself to yawn. My inability to sleep normally is accepted eons ago but this day is something else. Aside from the fact that I woke up so early today, I was in full action the whole day. My time was mainly spent with my adorable niece whom I have set two  goals for this week; for her to master concepts of print and spell her full name. I am fully confident that she will achieve this since she is smarter than most 3 year old toddlers. It is also given that her aunt is a teacher at heart even when it is the winter break.

I was also in non stop chatting mode with my brother. I guess a year of not seeing each other made a big difference. Sadly, he has to fly back to Phoenix later. To distract me from being sad, I again depend on the internet to ease my pain. My addiction to the world wide web has undoubtedly been magnified to the 10th exponent. I have mastered the art of monitoring my youtube account, MySpace page and this site. The thing is I want to keep the relationship with my online friends and viewers online real. I make it a point to drop them a line to say hello, thank you and greeting them when it happens to be their birthday. It takes a lot of time and worsens my eye strain but being sincere is worth it. I try to know them and not just to be in their accounts for statistics’ sake.

So what’s in store later when I wake up (if I ever do get sleep)

1. Start phase 1 of the South Beach Diet with my sister

2. Pilates after 4 days of no workout

3. Do resistance training.

4. Call up my old professor to catch up

5. Practice the acoustic guitar again and again and again. I made a bet with a friend so I am sticking with this.

5. Play more “I spy” games with my niece.

6. Make more sense in my next writing tomorrow.

Hope you had a nice, comfy, (I am so envious) enough sleep.

Sneaky Video February 18, 2008

while I am basking under Florida sun, my director uploaded these secret video files.

Enjoy the Video! 

Sun, Sun, Mister Golden Sun February 18, 2008

I am presently in Florida to be with my siblings and to spend time with my very bubbly niece. I was looking forward to experiencing the warm weather and escape from the bitter cold of New York City. In addition, my mind was craving for a much needed rest. My brain cells were working overtime since December and stress was added to my middle name. However, I noticed something strange about myself yesterday. While waiting to board, I was restless and I felt there were no stimuli around me. I blasted my Ipod, read a couple of tabloid magazines and started a Neruda book. Unfortunately, it got worst on the plane. I was switching the channels like a maniac, unable to finish a show. I was constantly flexing my metacarpals. That is when I realized, I have abused my mind and body. I was having a difficult time to relax. How pathetic is that?

Thoughts about bill payments, security of my apartment, maintaining my website, networking and my guitar lessons plagued my tired left hemisphere. I had to remind myself that this is vacation time and I should be enjoying and not worrying.

I was to about to give up when I managed to look out my window and there it was, a spectalar sunset. Right before my eyes, nature was reminding me of wonderful simple things are. I watched the sun, mesmerized and then every nerve on my body began to calm. I was able to smile, a genuine one for myself.

The flight attendant passed by and asked if I needed something. In other instances, I would automatically request for  a blanket. I said I was fine and as I flicked on the next channel, a miracle happened. I was able to sit through the entire episode of The Simpsons.

As I type this one, my brain is signalling for me to get my forty winks. I will in a few minutes. I wanted to put this into writing because I know when I go back to the rat race in the Big Apple, I would always be in a rush. I am hopeful though that Mr. Sun would be a good reminder for me to pace my steps and smile more often.

A Valentine Date With Filteany February 14, 2008

Much love goes out to my 210+ subscribers. Thank you for the seven months of fun, excitement and support at YouTube.

 

 

Freaking, Annoying, Libidinous Double Standard February 14, 2008

I am so pissed. I hate double standards. On the eve of Valentine’s day, I expressed a desire to be with someone. It took a lot of courage to confess that but lo and behold, I was labeled inconsiderate. I was called immature and only seeing my own side. I say holy crap to all this. When men want you, they grab you and as much as you are pre- occupied, you often submit yourself. I blame this on human nature. Women were unconsciously trained to please the sperm donors. Truth is, we women want to be objects of desire too. Only for a few enlightened men, women should not express that she needs her regular dose on being in the sack.

I hate this. Aside from the fact that I opened my heart, prepared myself and tried to be really sweet, I was ready to embrace the whole girl power movement. If you like a guy, say it. Make the first move. Well, I took the first step and I fell flat on my face.

Another thing that bugs me is that why men think that it is a privilege to “have” them. In case they forget, we have a more complex biological system. It takes a well-informed man to realize that it is not only a wham bam 3-minute session. I think women need to teach men about a thing or two about sex.

Next time, if a man approaches me with his mojo in action, I will be ready to fend him off with the following.

1. I have a headache resulting from my binge drinking last night. Yes, I am an alumnus of AA meetings.
2. I seldom remember the names of guys I made out with. What’s your name again?
3. I am a virgin by each turn of the season.
4. Your shoes are dirty.
5. You do not have clean sheets.
6. I am having my period for a month now, I know it is abnormal and so am I.
7. My friend told me you banged her and you mentioned a guy’s name in the middle of your climax.
8. I rather play with my Wii. No further explanation.
9. I used the condoms as water balloons for the Giants’ victory!
10. I am not in the mood. Tomorrow, no. Next week, still no. Call me in 5 years.

So on this Valentine’s day, I am here fingering my laptop at 2: 39 am. Perhaps when I visit Florida, I’ll meet someone who will understand the saying you got to have some.

Until then, I’ll be eating chocolates on my own and curse until this day is over.