To Do List April 9, 2008

I I cannot sleep. It is close to 4 in the morning and my mind is on constant carousel. I feel a knot in my stomach. Sad to confess that they are not likened to the euphemism “butterflies” hence I assume that what I am having are nerve wracking moments. If given the choice, I would rather take the ride to Space Mountain ten times if it means avoiding this state. No calming oil or soothing music can calm my cursed brain. Thinking gets the best and worst in me. My only wish is for it to at least, take a break yet it is as stubborn as I am.

What could be the reason I am undergoing this strange phenomenon? My rational skills fail to convince my whole psyche that everything is going to be alright. I need not worry that my freedom would end or my life would just be stagnant. These are my worst fears, not to be able to accomplish my “to do list”. I believe each one of us has made a mental note of things to do whether it be a shot for the moon or an admirable quest. I also believe that a life without such a list is a waste of opportunity and falling into the category of mediocrity.

Give me the pleasure of imparting my “to do list.” Perhaps, you would find items that are similar to yours or it may hopefully inspire you to add something similar.

1. Travel to experience different cultures of the world. Whether it is in Budapest or in Sierra Leone. I want to interact with people who I only see on the pages of National Geographic Magazine. 
2. Learn another language and speak it fluently. I am gearing towards French or Arabic.
3. Teach children in Africa or Tibet. As I have said, I am always a teacher at heart.
4. Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro (or at least view it)
5. Walk through the paths of the Great Wall of China and read a romantic novel in front of the Taj Mahal.
6. Finish my two books that I have been delaying for no reason.
7. Woo publishers and sell my books to them.
8. Give half of the sales to improve schools in the Philippines.
9. Write more books that sell to help teachers especially in third world countries.
10. Skydiving (bungee jumping is awesome so don’t blame me for the need for adrenaline rush)
11. Find, cook and eat foods that I do not know from the Amazon jungle. (this is unlike a fear factor challenge)
12. See the gigantic but spectacular icebergs of the North and feel the awe and dread at the same time.
13. Spend two months volunteering for a nursing home to listen to the elders. I always find inspiration in their stories of long ago.
14. Sign up for a drag race and win.
15. Learn to swim with the dolphins or feed sharks.
16. Finally play an electric guitar with no inhibitions because I am a woman.
17. Road trip- wherever it will take me.
18. Return to the Philippines to visit my beloved grandmother and treasure every moment with her.
19. Dance again even without a partner.
20. Fall in love truly.

I feel much better writing this and I hope you would start your “to do list”. I have accomplished two in my list. Can you guess them?

Whoever gets it right, I will write a poem about any topic of your choice. I’ll feature it here on my website and recite it on YouTube. It also entails mentioning your name.