The Two Forked Snake Road November 23, 2008

I caught up with my friend last night and we eventually talked about relationships. I guess from high school and now in our 30s, this is the common denominator that we will never tire of. She made a comment about her observation of young couples nowadays; their irrational passion which results to our annoyance as adults. I chuckled at the examples she cited on how men and women can be all over each other with zero care, exchanging mouth fluids and declaring publicly their “undying” devotion to each other. I gave her my two cents on the topic then again; she had to ask me. Conversations about other people go smoothly until one party asks ” How did you act when you were young and in love?’ I stammered on response, ” I don’t know, perhaps crazy in love too.”

 

Come to think of it, love is indeed crazy. To make it more complicated our raging hormones in our teenage years-added chaos to the situation. The plethora of emotions can alter one’s perception like a drug and resistance is futile.

 

Who has not?

 

Thought that first love will never die?

Played with the idea of getting hitched at age 15?

Said that Romeo and Juliet is crap but nonetheless experienced it?

Declared the motto “against all odds” and fought hard until the demise of the relationship?

Kissed passionately in a public place because the moment just felt so right?

Wished that the day would never end when you were together?

Survived screaming matches and crying marathons because of the green-eyed monster?

Did outrageous things to prove to our loved one?

 

 

I somehow miss those days when love swept me in torrid waves, gave me sleepless nights and the adrenaline that pumped into my young heart. I secretly wish for excitement and spontaneity in my stable relationship. Maybe a dash of devil may care passion might do the trick. In the mean time, I will share in the joy of the newly engaged couple in front of me.

 

Proposing in Times Square is romantic too, don’t you agree?

Over the Top of the 30th Hill November 14, 2008

For two days I have been suffering from severe back pains. Imagine being in a situation where almost all your discs are displaced and the mere action of bending gets me to curse in French. In times of excruciating pain, I had to blame someone or at least something. I chose to blame my forthcoming birthday. In fourteen days, I will bid adieu to my 20’s and (reluctantly) embrace my 30^th life anniversary.

 

My spinal chord on “under repair”, my paranoia about wrinkles and the shock of finding three gray strands were enough to propel me to curse incessantly. Well at least in the language of German and Cantonese. My friends are excited to attend my birthday bash, I on the other hand salivate at the thought of eating Magnolia cupcakes and drinking Martinis to my heart’s content.

 

Tracing the years makes me contemplate on what really matters, mattered. Inspite of my cynicism and reluctance to embrace this milestone, my loved ones and true friends make me braver. I may not always accept gracefully the aches, the lines and the occasional short term memory loss but I think I’ll make it to the next “age-ing” years.

 

Being 30 means jumping into a new age bracket in questionnaires.

Being 30 signals my awareness of my biological clock.

Being 30 means still being able to giggle like a child yet having the grace of wise woman.

 

Obama= 44th US President November 5, 2008

Obama is the New president= new hope and new beginning!

The Upside Down Curve of Learning November 3, 2008

I was exchanging pleasantries with a good friend when our topic swayed on the idea of learning. She casually mentioned that “It is hard to learn something at this age, like our mind refuses to absorb things. I mean, I can learn how to use something…after ten years and then there would be another version but I’d still say, “hey I know how to do that.” I agreed with her by saying, “I know what you mean, like our mind tells us that it had enough of learning.” I went home to prevent a cold from evolving to something worse but I kept her remark in mind.

 

Why is it difficult to learn nowadays?

 

With the exception of young people, I observe that people including myself experience hesitation to learn new things. I am quick not to attribute it to plain laziness but more of being worn down by our situations. We are plagued by work and everyday dealings that we are shortchanged with time. If we do our math in terms of counting the years we spent learning in school. I can safely say we have at least devoted close to a quarter of our life hitting the books. However the questions eludes me.

 

Have we learned anything at all?

 

I do my job and I give it my best. Sometimes if I have the luxury of having a second to contemplate, I attempt to trace what theory or page of a book that I learned what I just taught. It is rather difficult and honesty propels me that I “learn as I work.” This is the same principle I share with the many interns and volunteers I had in my classrooms. Seriously, I cannot even recall the exact educational theory of Rosseau or the Stages of Development by Piaget. My alma mater would be ashamed of me but at least I know how to diffuse a tantrum of a child even before it occurs. Charge it to the hours I spent reading Dr. Seuss’ books.

 

Many are disillusioned that when they have three degrees under their belt, they are considered experts. I feel pity for them especially when they let their diplomas and titles dictate how they relate to others. Believe me when I say that it is better to deal with a terrible two rather than with the inflated ego of a so-called expert. There might be a direct correlation between the emotional intelligence of a person with his educational background. If only schools have a mandatory course of social humility and work relation skills, the world would be a much better habitat.

 

The learning curve coincides with the theory that we lose brain cells by the time we reach eighteen years. My estimate would be I lost millions already. No cause for concern since I still know the difference between an alligator and a crocodile. I still know how to balance my checkbook and count the days before the next paycheck comes. Life calls for practical measures.

 

I may not never learn how to play the piano like a virtuoso, cook like Gordon Ramsey or read Braille but I am confident enough that I learned to the fullest extent how to feel, think and act like a human being with my frailty, fickle tendencies and emotional vulnerability.

 

Through all these travails, I have learned nothing but I never quit trying. I think that is what learning is all about.

 

 

 

 

 

Collide October 5, 2008

“Somehow I find, you and I collide” – Howie Day

Like atoms in the universe, there is always a significant probability that we will bump into each other. Similar to forces of nature, we interact with people from all walks of life. Whether it is a curt gesture in the subway turnstile or a weeklong seminar, we rely on our pocketful of social skills. We generally levitate towards positive social enigmas and we fly first class away from the not so ideal ones. However we cannot completely avoid unreasonable, unpredictable and socially unpleasant people.

 

Let me exemplify by citing a former supervisor. People said every bone in her body is made from a very mean formula therefore she is Mc Meanie. I have never encountered a person who can have premenstrual symptoms 365 days straight. I have mastered how to solve problems with a balance beam in my Physics class but she is of another classification. The element uranium is no match for her unpredictable radioactivity. The mere mention of her name drove drilled nightmares to my head and during weekdays, I had to deal with her Stalin style of administration. Most people gave up and walked away but given my circumstances, I simply could not wave the white flag. I resolved myself to silence whenever she verbally attacks and I learned to sway to her uneven mood swings when it comes to decision making. A whole year went by and I was still standing in her battlefield. Suffice to say I was surviving her. When she left, the whole building turned euphoric and there was a party thrown. I chuckled that it was the first party I ever attended that the “celebrant” was absent. We were free and thanked heavens for karma. Alas! Our joy was short- lived. He person who took her place was something else. She smiles and greets us in the hallway while she devises a devious plan to cut off our oxygen supply. Dolores Umbridge pales in comparison to her devilish schemes. As I see my co workers being forced to resign or simply not showing up- I thought of Mc Meanie. I came to realize that I would rather deal with her rather than be pleasant with a devil in disguise. Mc Meanie may be an oversize bully but she taught me two valuable lessons- toughen up when the going gets rough and faking it is not worth it. Despite the financial woes it would bring to me, I quit. I chose to be real and not deal with fake people. Mc Meanie and I collided so many times yet to this day; I thank her for giving me a different perspective on how it is to be nice. I’d rather work with a bitch than with a walking Angel of Death.

 

I am now in a much better working environment and in this cloudy Sunday afternoon, I give thanks to Mc Meanie for the testing me a hundred times and molded me with the social survival skills that would come in handy for other inevitable collisions.