Cry Me a Therapy

Tears just dropped

I lost control again

My cheeks wet

And I have no one

Only the bed posts

See my anguish

My loss, self hate

Doubt smacks me

And I bawl over

No words of comfort

No arms to hold me

Rock me to sleep

Forget my loneliness

I need to be strong

They say I am

I often stand here

Ignored, silenced

I am still a child

Looking for kind words

Alone inside my shell

I felt my tears like silk

Curled up in bed

And wailed some more

Cried some more

Tears sputtering everywhere

Red eyes like the sunset

Unrolled myself

Sat up

Had my last sniff

Turned on the laptop

And browsed

And browsed

And browsed

Funny Videos

Only Happens in New York

 You called in the middle of watching TV

I answered with a childish glee

Hearing your voice filled my head

As I lay comfortably on my bed

How are you? Long time no hear

How long has it been, months? No years!

We chatted about our jobs, bills to pay

Decided we meet up one day

I must admit I was excited and glad

You were the first love I ever had

Maybe you know, maybe you don’t

Nevertheless I don’t keep notes

Oh my, of all places to be in

New York brought us for the win

Time stretched, yes we are sure

Bittersweet memories endure

I teased you incessantly

You replied, as always coolly

Do you recall this and that?

Or on the old bench we sat?

Of course, how can I forget?

Rain started pouring, made us wet

Laughing, we run for cover

Around me, your warmth hovered

Back to present times, we woke up

Reminiscing though good ,should stop

We live separate lives on different sides

Though a part of you thrives inside

I ended the call since it’s getting late

I don’t want your partner to wait

I bid you goodbye, good night

Getting a call from you was a delight

We’ll see each other when time permits

We should not rush nor dare insist

Before I hung up, you softly asked

Under the sun, roses that basked?

Yes, I muttered softly too

That was so sweet of you

How can I totally forget?

My young heart you did get

Though it was nice finding you again

Seeing you, I don’t know when

After all these years, our paths crossed

What I thought was forever lost

…has now been found

…and the petals fell on the ground

I love Flowers too

I am independent
I work to feed and clothe myself
I have no rules to follow
I have no curfew, no guardians
Yet I need someone to see me as weak

I speak my mind
I act on my decisions
I stand by my principles
I take no crap from people
Yet I need someone to see me falter

I admit my mistakes
I was foolish in love
I fell for shallow promises
I hated my own stupidity
Yet I need someone to love me passionately

I listen to my inner voice
I rely on my instincts
I take pride in my accomplishments
I did it, on my own
Yet I need someone to be smarter than me

I project a woman of strength
I bare my claws when needed be
I do not back down
I choose my battles
Yet I need someone whom I can surrender to

truth is

I am a woman
I want to be held inside a man’s strong arms
I want to be kissed on the forehead
I want to melt in the moment, that I am his world
I want to let go and feel loved
I love flowers too…white roses for a lady like me

Time

Time

There is a time to smile from the heart
and to make one to make people feel better

There is a time to be honest with our words
and to mince to lessen the sting of utterance

There is a time to drown in happiness
and to forego it for the joy of the majority

There is a time to think because we want to
and to decide because we have no other choice

There is a time to fight for what is right
and accept defeat for loved ones are in pain

There is a time to fall in love blindly
and to love because it was meant to be

There is a time to open one’s life to others
and to build walls to survive

There is a time to finally let go of what cannot be undone
and to regret because there was a way to escape it

There is a time to choose, to be or not to be
and to just stand still and wait for time

There is a time to be selfish and forget everything
and to be considerate for others depend on you

There is a time to be deliriously be in the moment
and then wake up because it can never last

…this is the time I am opening my mind
and closing a door…

This is the time to say goodbye.

Free Fall

 I stand here

Looking down into a dark speck

My chest rises then hesitantly falls

And my being cruelly questioned

I stand here

Waiting if my mind would succumb

Order my whole body to just surrender

To close my eyes and fall freely

I stand here

My fears live in a cave of bats

I hear the eerie sound, beckoning

Yet I am still tempted

Why are you doing this?

Luring me into a lion’s den

I tried to pull away, far from you

It is wanton escape, pathetic attempt

Why are you doing this?

Seducing me to never look back

Cast away my hundred masks

And hold your hand with my own blood

….I fell from my own cage.

Then I let go of your hand for it is inevitable yet your imprint is engraved on my tombstone